Maybe You Should Leave

We come into this world not knowing what is going on.
Well I still don't know what is going on.
I'm so frustrated by all the information people give me.
"You need to not care what people think."
"School doesn't even matter."
Just random things.
Things that I can figure out on my own.
I'm not going to change because you want me to fit your mold.

No.
Because I know that there is one person out there whose mold is meant for me.
If I have to change for you and it's not a compromise...
Yeah this relationship or somewhat of a relationship will not work.
I'm not changing for you.
The only person I will be changing for is me.
If you have a problem with that, then leave.
Because I don't need you to be another hassle in my life.
I like the way my life is.
"You need to stop going to all these concerts and just grow up. Do something that makes you happy."
Well, music makes me happy.
I love concerts and I love bands.
Deal with it.
Or don't.
You have the decision to stay in my life or walk out of it.
But you will not be taking away the things I love because I need to "grow up".
I'm mature.
Hey, I know I don't have a job at the moment but really do I care?
Not much.
I'm out doing the things I love.
Let me live MY life.
You live yours.

One Moment

A simple smile took me by surprise.
I didn't expect it to make me feel wonderful.
I didn't expect it to make me picture it over and over again.
But it did.

I replay the events in my mind again.
Trying to pick up every detail as I watch, rewind, and watch again.
It all seemed to be so perfect.

Never have I really experienced one of those perfect moments.
The ones that you look back on and see how happy you were at the time.

Things are going to be different now.
But they will still remain the same.

Just not us...

Things are going to move forward with us.
Because we have seemed to pause this never ending movie again and again.

Let's not fast forward.
Let's not rewind.
Let's just find the romance, the laughter, and of course...

That smile.

Nameless Faces

What if we just walked away?
Where would we go?
This world is so big.
And there are so many nameless people in it.
People we don't know, people we never met.
Just people we see.

Call me old fashioned, but I have always wanted to write someone a letter.
I think sometimes the things we look at in life...
We don't stop to really see what an effort it took to get there.
As I look back...
I remember what I once was...
A growing girl who went from getting teased, to teasing people, to getting teased again, and finally on the track of finding herself.
Our past makes our present and our present makes our future.

Being alone made me realize to be myself.
Not someone to please someone else.
Not someone who wants everyone to like them.
Not someone who wants everyone to be envious.

Just a girl who has secret passions and secret crushes.
Just a girl who has hopes and dreams.
Just a girl who loves to write and doesn't really tell anyone about it.

What If

What if we never found love?
What if the world stopped turning?

There are so many "what if" questions out there.
Can we one day answer them all?

I find myself at a very awkward place.
Not knowing if I'm making the right decision.

But we will have to see.
He will have to watch.

Although I cannot change the weather,
I can change myself.

And I make decisions based on what I want.
But in reality... I don't know what I want.

Time is running out.
Days are being lost.

I sit here knowing where I want to be, but not knowing what I want to do.
I'm scared to be honest.

Maybe being scared is something to make us stronger.
Maybe we just need to have that little independence to make us who we want to be.
Maybe I'm just crazy.

Constant Change

We all change at some point. Some, faster than others. But does good or bad come of it? Both. Today I talked with a friend who I have not spoken to in 3 years. He told me how he changed for the better and that he lost all his friends because of it. If we change for the better, why do we still lose people as friends? I don't think I would want to lose anyone as a friend. Although we head our seperate ways sometimes, or that solid friendship crumbles down into nothing, we shouldn't ignore them. We shouldn't pretend like they no longer exsist. Say hi to them. Smile at them. Because we are only human. We all know how it feels to be betrayed, loved, sad, mad, you name it. So why do we keep ignoring them?

The Key & The Door

I glanced up to see a pair of bright eyes gazing into mine. 

Right now, with mixed feelings... I try to figure out everything. 

In moments like these, I wish I could make time pause for just a few minutes. 

I would love to collect my thoughts and throw them in a bottle.

Though they sometimes seem like they are already in one. 

And I sit here... With nothing better to do than write. 

I often wonder if there is something wrong with me. 

Because I seem to be attracting no one. 
Is it because I like writing?
Or because I don't like to be controlled?

Questions always being asked... and never being answered. 

So why is it that I am attracting only the shadows?

I know it is something to not worry about so much...

But still I feel as if there is a part of me missing.

Like someone out there has my missing piece.
When will they return it to me?

And whose do I have?

Am I the key that doesn't unlock any doors?

Or am I the door just waiting to be unlocked?

If I keep searching, will I find what I am looking for?


In the end I think we all do...
If we really want it...
If we really need it...
We will get it somehow.


So I leave you with one question...


If we never stopped to look... Would we ever know what was there?