Thursday, December 16, 2010

Fragile as It Is

There you are...
Sometimes...
You can be so far from my reach.

Time steals you away from me...
Making it harder to stay in one place.

I question the future...
And the past lies in the shadows.

Are we ready?

Our lives are like walking a tight rope that is fairly loose.

We are trying not to fall...
And we are still trying to stand.

Can we make it to the other end okay?
Or will we be too scared to face what is before us...

Don't be scared...
Take my hand.
We can do this together...

Forget about your fears...
Forget about your worries...

Just breathe.

And follow me...

Life is walking on this thin rope.
We have to make it across.

Fragile as we are...
Fragile as it is...

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

The Train is Leaving Without You

My dreams are taking me far...
Sometimes though...
I miss the train...

At night I feel it race across the tracks...
And hear its' cries...

Making me remember how I did not catch it...

I've packed my things to catch the next one...
My life put into one tiny suitcase...

It makes my head hurt...

My life being so tightly pressed against the walls...
Waiting to break free...

I'm sick of black and white...
The same routine in an ordinary box.

My life is not meant to be in a box.
And neither is my mind...

The tracks never end...
You're stepping foot into dangerous waters...

Are you ready to dive into my life?

You might be sufficated from all the pressure...
Or maybe you will live off the sun through my heart.

It is all up to you.

The tracks are shaky...
And I never know where they will take me next...

But I'm ready for adventure...

Pack your things...
The train is leaving without you.



Satisfaction of Dreaming

Here I am again...
I never really left...

But then again I never really stayed.

I'm forever changing...

A wild thing...
Who...
Wants some comfort...

But who still doesn't want to be tamed.

I'm not sure where I am going now...
But you'll see me some day.

I can't help but feel powerful.
I can't help but feel alone...

Time is ticking...
I'm still breathing...

Waiting...

Inspiring as many people as I can.

Because we were all strangers at one time...

I still remember to be myself.
Every day.

I look into the mirror and slowly watch myself grow up...
And those around me.

Scared to death of aging...

I feel like I'm wrapped in a blanket...
Surrounded by warm things to keep me here...

But I'm still thrown out in the cold...
To face things on my own...

Sometimes I shield my own face...
Or turn the other cheek...

But I still remember being that little girl...
Who was too scared to ask for help...

And who sometimes still is...

I'm independent...
But dependent...

Who wants to be alone...
But scared to ever be left alone.

When did I cross that bridge into being a woman?
I really don't remember...

We always want to be older when we are younger...
And when we are older we can't help but want to be younger...

Have we found the solution yet?

I'm always stopping...
Always thinking...

Taking in what is around me...
Remembering how it is...

Life isn't supposed to be moving so fast...
But God does it feel like it...

When did time win the race?

Was my heart too slow?

I'll catch up one day...
And I wonder what will happen then.

Sleeping with the satisfaction of dreaming...

So therefore...
I dream.

So This I Leave for You

Some days I just want to run away...
Nothing hurts more than being in situations you don't know how to control...

You were in control...

What if I told you...
That I left something for you...

You won't remember my laughter...
You won't remember my eyes...

But you will forever remember my voice.
And the things I said...

I stare out the window...
Watching the days change...

The leaves fall...
But that doesn't mean life is dead.

I'm watching...
To see where you are in the wind...

To hear a whisper of hope from your voice...

Make me remember...
But also make me forget...

It's crazy the things we can remember...
And it's crazy how we can forget...

Life.

One word that makes us breathe...
And keeps our hearts beating...

Love.

A word that has endless definitions...
But still means the same any way you put it...

I'll still remember our crazy teen years...
How we were figuring ourselves out...
And each other...

Leave...
But watch us all...

Because we all need something to believe in...

So this I leave for you...
I love you.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

But Please Remember to Knock

In fear I hide from the monster underneath my bed...

But every night I get more courage to stand up for myself...
No longer afraid of the dark...
And no longer scared of things that go bump in the night...

The monsters have all been disappearing out of sight...
And my imagination grows wilder without them...

I no longer need to feel alone...
But in a crowded room I still do.

Adventure is always knocking on my door.
Will someone answer it with me?

I leave my door open now...
Ready for monsters or for adventures...

But please remember to knock.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Criss Cross

It's time I leave my past behind me once more...
Again I return to the isolation I've surrounded myself with.

No more running...
No more hiding...

Only living.
Only breathing.

No longer stuck at the cross roads.

Only driving into the sunset.

The world can be so simple...
Yet so complexed.

Do we ever stop to wonder what is really going on?
Or do we live the fantasy life we 've always dreamed?

And keep dreaming...
Not doing...

I'm ready to make my dreams realities.
And forever see the stars as the sparkles in someone's eyes.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Unlocking Hearts

The water is so cold...
But I must swim to the nearest dry spot.
I don't know how far it will be...
I don't know where I even began...

What if I drown in a world I'm not familiar with?

Will I be able to survive off of isolation?

I swam with dreams...
And bottled them up forever...

Only to forget those dreams in bottles...
And only to remember that I forgot them.

I look to the stars...
As a map so I can see...

But all I can really see is light in this tunnel of darkness...
Hope is always on my mind...

And love will always be in my eyes...
So if you look closely...

You may wonder what is there...
But you will never actually know...

I unlock doors with the key wrapped around my neck...
And a few hearts too.

But you will never get mine...

Because I will keep unlocking doors for you and I.

The Shadows Always Follow

It seems that by night...
I find the strength to get up again.

Sometimes I fall so far...
That you can't hear my screams.

But they are there...
Just like the shadows of our pasts.

Often I see my shadows...
But the night makes them all disappear.

Washing away my weaknesses, my insecurities, and fears.

Drenched in a life unknown to the world.
Believing in fairy tales and true love...

Not searching...
But learning...
To stand on my own.

Keeping up with time in a race.
Cherishing every second of it...

Leaving behind these negative thoughts and actions...
And leaving behind my shadow.

Friday, October 15, 2010

Uprising Rain

I woke up refreshed from a dream that still lies on my pillow.
The world is at my finger tips and I grab it for adventure.

I'm discovering the world in different views and opinions every day.
And I don't wish to stop but to only capture a moment in time or two.

Life is filled with sunshine and rain...
I can't help but enjoy everything even though some brings different emotions to the table.

Some secrets, I've found...
Should be kept as secrets.

It's funny how one little secret can change a person.
But is it really funny?

I often wonder what really comes with wanting to share secrets...
When we can be the most selfish things on earth.

When the stars fall through the sky...
I can't help but gaze, just memorized by beauty.

And hope that one day...
Someone will see the same thing I do.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Destination Determined

I find myself waiting...
Waiting for the unexpected.

But also waiting for the calendar to change...
I need change.
And I know what I want.

My wings will soon be strong enough to fly on their own.
And I shall fly away to a place unknown for a little while.

I need to feel some different things.
And see things that are quite comforting, but that could be a little different.

What if this is my only chance?
What if my wings will only let me fly once?

Do I dare?

I pray...
That this try will be different...

That I will fly away and not fall...

But what if falling is what I'm supposed to do?
What if falling is the key to finding true happiness?

My hunger is turning into starvation.

I long for the thing that keeps my will power going...
Will I finally get it?

To be continued...

Tofu

In the past I lived...
Where the future was a newborn...
But I was still scared to see it grow up.
And take me with it.

With the lessons we have learned...
You would think we would learn to forgive and forget our problems...
But through time and through love you never learned.

I'm more beautiful than the sun set on the horizon...
I'm stronger than your heart and mind combined.

You're scared to bring the past to the present.
And I'm scared to leave the past behind and move on.

Just a little...

But with time I find myself wondering what could have been...
Or where your life has taken you.

Far beyond the dreams that lie on your pillow cases I hope.

My dreams?
They are being witnessed every day.
And those dreams are realities with every step I take.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Curiousity Strikes the Dark

I awoke to find myself alone.

Though my mind is always full of thoughts...
I awoke with nothing.

Still numb from my precious nightmares...
I looked out the window.

I dream of being someone...
But everyone is someone...

But what makes that someone a someone in everyones' eyes?

Today I will keep my mind at ease.
And watch the wind caress the leafs.

Forever being the same...
But forever changing.

Secrets.

The secrets I carry with me...
They are not worth telling...

But they are also not worth keeping.

Maybe we are supposed to stop and stare...
Just to really realize what is around us.

I wonder...

When we stop to look...
What are we really seeing?

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Where It's too Dark for Light

Beneath the shadows I fill my mind with thoughts...

Day to day I wonder of life and love.
Questioning the progress of mine...
Seeing the progression of others...

Slowly slipping away from reality.
Into the deepest part of my soul.

Too far for light to travel...
Too dark for you to see...

In a world full of mistakes...
I find my inner beauty.

I keep fighting my fears.
And losing some well deserved battles...

But I live to see another day.
And I dream to live more dreams.

Dreams that have not been reached yet but almost...

I'm so close...

In the darkness I run...
Trying to find the nearest light...

Reaching for the nearest star...

Pulling dreams from the air and into my heart...
Where I know destiny will find them...

And I will achieve them all.

Salt and Simplicity

With the slightest breath I step into the ocean...

Washing away all my memories...
And all of my feelings...

Because some things are not worth remembering...
And some things are not worth feeling...

Drenched in salt and simplicity...

I've been wrapped in your symphony of lies.
A beautiful piece that has been broken.

A song worth singing until you know the true meaning.

But I still consider the options...

Will I let my heart walk on a thin line that's loose?

Or do I stand so gracefully on a bed of roses?

What if I were to tell you...
That I see more in you than I see in me.

Would you look at your life differently?
Or the same as it has been?

Mirrors are always on the walls...
I stop to find myself staring just to wish...

A wish that could stop the world for an hour.
And let me rule it.

I hold the key to my future...
But you are pushing the door closed...

Your eyes say more than your lips will ever dance to.

But I can't help but listen to the waltz of your imagination.

My imagination runs quickly through the field of tall grass...
Catching stars, and seeking dreams.

Never forgetting what lies behind me...

Always remembering what lies before me.

Island Built for One

Have I been exiled?

Why do I find that my echo only comes back to me?
The sun is sleeping in the distance...

And I can't figure out where I am...
Or even who I am.

You lost me at hello.
And I found myself when we said goodbye.

I have learned lessons that are not worth repeating...
I've kissed lies from a mouth not worth speaking...

How do you manage to keep me alive on an island built for one?

I've seen more rain storms than I have sunshine.
I've heard more cries than laughter.

And yet I feel safe...
All alone with only an echo and an island.

You try so hard to be different...
When in my heart I knew you were a kidnapper also.

You kidnapped me to this island built for one.

I pace back and forth...
Wondering when you will return.

Have you stranded me forever?
Or am I waiting for a rescue boat?

Swallowed Up by the Wind

Are we ready to let the rain fall?
And are we ready to figure each other out?

The wind swallows my fear, my questions...
But where will they go?

Do they travel to far away places...
Where the sky is bright while I look into darkness?

The clouds look like they were colored with crayons.
If I don't come home tonight...
I've found something worth fighting for.

Maybe far away...
Away from what I'm used to.

Out of my comfort zone...

To a world I'm ready to see.

And I will change it.
While it changes me...

People are staring...
And I can't help but smile.

I wonder why that is.

Is it because I gaze into the sunset,
not knowing what is there...

But curious to know what there could be?

The Roots We Know So Well

I find myself in between the cross roads...
Questioning the existence of a future...
The death of a so called past...

Fear has always been an enemy...
But it lives so close.

My mind has always been filled with more questions than answers.
But my heart knows more answers than anything else.

I struggle with the fact of them both...
Who will win the battle?
Who will win the war?

I don't settle at any rate...

Always changing...
Like the weather in an unhealthy place.

Sometimes it's wanted...
Sometimes we pray for it to leave.

What if life is just a ride?

It's supposed to be enjoyable...
It's supposed to be bumpy...

Are we afraid of reaching great heights?
Or are we scared that we will never come back?

Do our roots still live in the depths of our souls?
Or are we forever changing...
Forever growing...

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Risk on a Safari

A journey begins...
I'm driving out of my comfort zone...

To a destination I'm not used to.

It's been said that nothing in life is done without risk...

The risk of heart ache, the risk of falling in love...
Do we want to be more adventourous and risky?

Or do we hide the key to the unknown...
Praying we will never find it?

It's risky business...
But risk is still risk...

We risk saying I love you to someone we really do...
And we risk saying I love you to someone we don't...



Saturday, June 19, 2010

You'll Be Famous for Something You're Not

Truth is...
I was more than you ever needed.
Because I'm raw.

But you like your meat cooked.
So what?

I'm still confident.
I'm still going to shine.

You can't break me.
You're nothin' but dirt on my shoulder I just need to brush off.

Thanks for the inspiration babe.
Inspiration for a new song.

And you?
You'll just be that line in a song.

And I'll be singing that song.
You're famous.
But famous for being an ass hole.

And I'm going to stand tall.
And stand up for what I believe in.

You ready to be famous for being a dick?
Get ready.

Spotted in My Eyes

Anger is such a powerful word...
But my anger is just as powerful.

I am a lion...
Caged.

Ready to kill everything that put me here...
Ready to scream my lungs out...

But remember who put me here...

My sweet and innocent look has nothing to do with my eyes.
My eyes hold every spot of anger.

I've given you time,
and all you have done is taken it from me.

You selfish person.

I don't need excuses...
And at this point...

Do I really need you?

I believed in fairy tales...
Only to find out how unreal they really are.

Thanks for clearing that up...

Are you the spider trapping me in a web of lies?
Ready to kill me at any time...

You are...
So you are a successful spider.

But you lack the poison...
You just have the bite.

To the Boy With My Key

Beneath the summer sun,
I ran to the nearest flower...

Praying for fate to be on my side.
Believing it by the hour.

If nothing comes out right
And nothing comes out wrong

Where do I begin...
For the words to a song?

You kill me with your kindness
You surprise me with spite...

If I had one more chance...
Would I redo that summer night?

Is your heart filled with hatred?
Is your mind still at ease?

Do you remember where my heart is?
Or even the keys?

My eyes are still watching...
My heart still beating...

You can keep me standing still...
But can you stop me from breathing?

Do you believe in fairy tales
or are they just dreams?

Is there more meaning to life than what it seems?

Line of Communication

Just ring...
I sit here with a mindless stare...

Waiting through the seasons for you to call.
But you don't call...

I keep the gate open...
But there is still a fence...

I'm not a heart breaker.
And I refuse to let someone break mine.

I try to be the person who is open.
I try to be the one who keeps you talking.

But your silence doesn't work for me.
And neither do you.

I'm not your boss.
I'm not your friend.

I'm just a girl who you have wrapped around your finger.
Maybe...

I try not to look at it that way.
But maybe that is what everyone else sees.

I wish there was some line of communication...

I feel like I'm casting a line out into an abyss...
I keep trying to throw something out but all I get is gravity...

Don't be like all the others...
If you know what is good for you.

Because I refuse to let someone lead me on.

I refuse to be full of joy on a false account.

So if you read this...
Maybe you should call.

Friday, June 18, 2010

Stuttering

We're so far away...
You always keep me guessing...

How are you so good at that?

With this passing season...
I keeping wondering if you will find a reason to come here...

It's so beautiful.
And I want to share it with you...

Because, you've taken part of something that is very meaningful to me...

I keep asking myself when will I get it back.
Or even if I ever will...

The stars...
Everytime I see them...
I think about how you and I spent our last night together...

Under the stars...
Your arm around me...
My arms around you...

I loved every minute of it...
I never wanted it to end.

And I know you didn't either.

I lay in bed every night...
Wondering when we will meet again...

Because I really do miss you.

Remember when we sat there...
Just looking at the town...
Forgetting that you were supposed to be on stage next?

And then I remember you singing to me...
I kept blushing because people were looking at me...

But my favorite part of the night...
Was just spending time with you.

Because you kept me stuttering.

Just kidding...

You kept me smiling.
And my heart was racing.
Yours was too.
I felt it.

You have my key.
And I have yours...

Don't forget where you put it.

Mine is always close to my heart.

Reality or Creativity

When it comes to fashion, music, and food...
I think I know just about everything...

But...
When it comes to love...

Now that's a subject I have always struggled with.
Love is something no one can define.

But I still try to define it...

I think I have given up on love...
Or love has given up on me...

I live in this fantasy world thinking that my prince charming
will show up unannounced on my front door step.

Or that he will take a plane and surprise me...
Why do I want surprises?

I still live in that little fantasy world...
Where the guy of my dreams is creative in every way.

Is creativity in a relationship still alive?
Or should we be burying it with our broken hearts?

I've looked back at my past relationships...
Trying to figure out if there was even one thing that made me happy as a surprise...

I don't remember finding anything...

But I hope with the next, that he can be a reality.

An Amazing Situation

I took...
A chance.


A chance that...
I didn't see as being successful.
But it was.


It was like jumping off a bridge into the cool water...
I was surprised by the temperature,
but not by the jump.




It's not something I do everyday...
And it's not something I've ever really liked.


But I tried.


And it was invigorating.


We have this judgement about people...
When we have been hurt the most...


I've got my heart caged still...
But the gate is slightly open...


Because I have a feeling...
This time it will be different.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

With This Key... I Unlocked the World

I have found the keys...
The keys...
That open doors to new beginnings.

Some doors behind me I will leave locked...
Others...
Open to the world.

We shouldn't shut the doors of our pasts...
Only the ones who let in the freezing air.

I wonder what door this key will open...
And will there be someone there to open the door for me?

We can easily shut a door...
Just as easily as we can open it...

Do we dare leave the key under the mat...
For the next person?

I hide my keys...
Hoping someone who has the ambition
and dreams to find them.

Those are the minds I want to open doors for.
Those are the eyes I want to help see...

What are we looking for when we open a door?

A new beginning to a new chapter...
Or to end the last chapter and close the door?

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Only Speechless

Slowly...
But don't stop completely.


We are running for something out of our reach.


Always running...


Never stopping...


Just keep running...


In our eyes only can we find what they can't.


Because we want to find it.


That secret that has been eating us up inside...
The one that we want to say...
But we only become speechless.


But then we close our mouthes pretending nothing was ever said.


Only in our eyes and in our hearts do we know the truth...


Do we tell a secret that we know is dreadful?
Or do we tell a lie that we know is hurtful?


I've always wondered which is worse in a bad situation...


The truth, or a made up lie.


When we are walking alone in the night...
Do we always look over our shoulder
to see if someone is following?


Are we scared of our own shadows?


We end up saying things we don't want to.
A slip...
A mistake...


Some will be forgiven.
Some will be forgotten.


Others will be lived with regret for ages...


But my secrets....


They will be written down.
Sewn through out the edges of my writing...


Hidden, but unveiled.


To the opened eye...


But more importantly...
To the opened mind.

And With This Key...

This thing...
A thing that could open so many opportunities...
So many dreams that can become so many realities.

Crash...

Full force...

This thing...
Could be the thing to help us through.

This thing...
Could bring us together.

It's funny how one simple thing such as an rusty old key...
Can be more than just that.

We open eyes...
We open hearts...

And yes,
We open doors...

But a simple key...
Is so more than just that.

And...

Aren't people...
More than just people?

We see what we want to see...
But sometimes...
We need to stop and just look.
Not with what we want...
But with our eyes.

Our eyes give us the naked truth.
And our hearts...

Well, they give us the real feelings.
The feeling to love and the feeling
to be stronger than we think we are.

If we truly took the key to the box we all seem to be stuck inside...
And we unlock it to escape...

We can accomplish more than we ever thought we could.