Chasing My Shadow

I've been searching the stages...
For that perfect someone in the spot light.

But maybe I am wrong.
And everyone else has been right.

My one true love doesn't make music...
It IS music.

I've been searching for the perfect person...
Who strums the strings or sings to a crowd..

With everyone telling me I will be hurt in the end.
And they were right every time.
I never wanted them to know how weak I am.

That one little musician couldn't wreck my world.

But they can...

And they do.

Am I scared to leave the spot light and look for someone in the crowd?

Or am I just too stubborn to stop chasing my own shadow?

Murdering Time

Words to spell...



But... I can't remember how to speak.


Time has stolen my voice...


Here I am with an answer I can only swallow...


Because time has made me forget.

I slowly race to the door...


Only to find its' locked.


In silence I cry because there is no way out.


Here I am.


Do you even take notice?


I'm lost...


And yet... I know my surroundings.


Time needs to be murdered.


So I wait.

Paparazzi

So maybe I am crazy.
A wannabe celebrity who always wants all eyes on her.

I don't know why I want the attention.
I don't know why I crave the spot light.

But every time someone doesn't want to pay attention...

I think their camera needs new film...
Or something.

I feel like...

I always need the videos running and the cameras flashing.

Always making an enterance...
Never insecure.

But really I am so far from being perfect.

I can't help but just want it.
And I can never figure out why my mind wants all this attention.

Am I a social butterfly?
Or am I just alone?

New Spring

The flowers are starting to bloom once more..
And I can began to feel free again.

The winter holds me in the house.

The spring lets me discover new things...
And new people.

I keep writing down the pros and cons of us.
And the pros are winning.

You are so different than what I'm used to.

But you fell in love with the same thing I did...

Music.

Which is a huge thing in my life, and in yours.

So today we will watch the weather change.
And see the sky clear.

Spinning Carousel

I guess things are supposed to move forward.
But I'm always looking back.

Things will always get better.
If we didn't see what terrible was...
We wouldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel.
And see the best of everything.

I open my eyes to a new world.
I cry with a loss for the old one.

If tears were meant for drying...
And flowers meant I'm sorry or I love you.
What does a heart mean when it hurts?

I dress myself.

With words...
Clothes...
And a smile occasionally.

On rainy days you can find me below the tree...

Watching the tears fall from clouds.
Of lost loves...
Forgotten friends...

Things we lost...
Time...
Body...
Mind...

I've lost...
My weaknesses.

I've learned to stand on my own two feet.
To dance with confidence.
And prove I can move on...

From this carousel we spin on.

This ride we prove to enjoy.
The things we are willing to do and see.

Fencing Our Distance

Just open your eyes and let go.
That's what I've been told.
That's what I know.

Hoping for dreams to be real.
Only to be stories in our imagination.

Pretty please,
Leave me be.

Caring is the only reason I still want you here.
Listen to me.
Give me time to heal.

I barely know you.
You barely know me.

Let's end it before it begins.

One will lose and one will win.

So just stop replying.
And I will quit lying.

Feelings will disintegrate eventually.

I'm as strong as a tree.
But as soft as a flower petal.

My heart though...
That's a different story waiting to be told.

But one you cannot unfold.

Circus in the Sea of Stars

The ring leader starts the show.
With the most precised point the act begins.


The little puppets hang in there.


The lions roar with fright and jealousy.


Center stage.
Center stage.


All eyes on me.


I drown in the attention of strangers.
I float into another life.


The coffee spills.
But I won't clean the mess.
Let it dry.
Let it be.

I've been sleeping in the stars.


Never letting go of the beauty.
Never leaving the light.


But the light isn't so bright all by myself...


A shooting star shows that you are not the one staying.


So here I am in a sea of stars...
At the circus center stage...

I am being judged.
I am being stared at.

Maybe you see an act...

Am I a puppet on strings?

Never.

But sometimes I feel like strings are being pulled.
And stars are being shot.