Nearly Escaping

I've been living in this imaginary life...
Pretending that one day you would be mine.

But you're not.
And you never will be.

I'm facing facts.
Though I want to face this fiction.

Nearly escaping all of reality.
Just for a moment with you.

I want to just run in an open field.
And forget everything I ever knew about you.

Refresh...
But you tend to make me relapse.

Back into this imaginary scene.
Where I don't want to be.

Where I think I have just a little chance.
Then I get thrown back into the wall.

Hitting reality.
Breaking hope.

Once upon a time I believed in you.
Secretly I still do.

You will never know though.
You're just too stubborn to realize it.

And I'm just to embarrassed to tell you.
Can't you take a hint?

I'm slowly considering what else is out there.
One step at a time though.

Too far and it will only put me back where I am now.
Why don't you give me a chance?

We were so foolish when we were younger.
We've both grown up.

But you tell me I have changed.
That I changed into what everyone else wanted me to be.

Instead of being the real me.
Which you said was good enough for you.

Yet, you won't even tell me how I have changed.
Or what I used to be.

So have I really changed?
Or have you?