Summer Confusion

In life, I've started to figure out men.
I assume they naturally sense when someone they like is moving onto someone else.
It seems as though every time I get hurt, I pick up the pieces and move on.
But! The person I am trying to get over somehow finds me and makes me feel good again.
I'm having mixed feelings.
Like mixing meds and martinis.
Such a bad combination but gives a great feeling.
My mind plays ping-pong.
Left and right.
Right and left.
Who will break my heart?
Should I give him another chance?
What will the future hold with him?
Is he ready to committ?
Once again I am drowning in my thoughts.
I'm scared to pick the wrong person.
If I give him another chance will it be worth it?
What will he think of this?
Will I be breaking his heart?
Sometimes I'm sick of being told how pretty I look or what a beautiful girl I am.
It sounds so vain but I'm serious when I say it is all I hear.
I wish someone would just compliment me on my photography or my views and opinions.
Why must everything be looked at physically?!
I want to pull my hair and scream because no one sees my soul.
They see my face and won't look farther than that!
Where is someone who I can be myself around?
Where is someone who I can laugh with?
Someone who will love all of me?
UGH.
Summer love.
I think NOT.
The way I see it, it is summer lust.
I'm dying to see what happens in the sequel.