The Attention of a Stranger

It was never ever about me, it was always about her.
I would die just for your attention.
18 years later and here we are...

I pray every day that things will change.
In the end, I'm left heart broken because it hasn't changed one bit.

I'm your first daughter and yet you give me the attention
of a complete stranger.

I wish you would just one time sit down and listen.
I scream and no words come out.

I cry but no tears hit the surface.
You're supposed to be there for me.

You never were.

I search my mind for why you don't love me as much as you love her.

She was always your first priority.

The ONE time I need help.
This one fucking time, and you won't help me because it wastes your time.

I can't even call you a dad anymore...

All you do is get my hopes up and shatter them into pieces.
Let's face facts...

I never was the perfect daughter...
But you don't always have to show me my flaws.

I'm tired.
I'm really tired of waiting for some "dad" to come pick me up
and tell me he cares about me and loves me.

You say the words I love you, but I don't even believe you mean them anymore.

When I needed you, you weren't there.
I was falling daddy.
And you weren't there to catch me.
I was scared.
And you weren't there to save me.

I don't even have enough courage to say these things to you...
And I don't know why.

You'll never see the beauty I have...
Because you never even look.